Today has been a great day weather wise. Today was also Patrick’s indoor soccer tournament. He plays in a team called ‘The Misfits’, a group of his big sister’s Kim’s friends, mainly lesbians. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to play at first, but since he has been playing, only 1 win and definitely losing today, 4 games, Patrick has learned a lot. He has learned commitment, team playing, responsibility and a lot about himself and his limitations and strengths. He has learned that when he is angry, he can save it up and channel it into playing soccer.
Today, I went to see him play his last game of the day. It was a good game, score of 11 to 4, The Misfits being 4.
The games were only 12 minutes per half, with a 6 minute break. It is a very fast moving game. Now that he is home, he is making a lot of noise taking the tape off his toes. He had them strapped up because he keeps hurting his toes. He may even have a break or fracture, but we may never know unless he doesn’t play for a week to allow the swelling to go down so as to get a clear x-ray of it. He won’t let me touch it or even look at it.
Well, that is all I have to say about the soccer, apart from the catching up with Amy’s dad and grand father. I have not seen the grandfather for 15 years and haven’t seen her dad for about 10 years. He had news of Patrick’s father, being quite ill with emphysema. I have wanted to take Pat to see his dad for a couple of years now, so now I feel an urgency for him. I am hoping Pat will keep contact with his dad so that he does get a chance to get to know him a little, before he dies and he has heavy feelings of regret.
The opportunities are all there for Pat to keep contact with his dad, but his dad is just as bad in keeping in contact, even worse, seeing as he is the adult. He has never accepted that Pat has autism and adhd…and he never tried to help Patrick in area’s he needed help. It is a sad situation, I feel for Mick, his dad, now that he is so sick, but all in all, I had to put Patrick’s safety and mental stability and life routine at the top of the caring for Patrick list.
Patrick did keep a little contact with his father up until a couple of years ago. Mick has never been good at keeping contact, so I would prompt Pat to text his dad and ask him to ring him, as the court orders stated. Pat still cannot understand why his dad wouldn’t just ring him when he felt like talking to him, and I guess its just one of those things that he will never learn. It was a long process of a couple of weeks prompting conversations leading onto the subject of his dad, guiding his thoughts in the direction of contacting his dad, and having a chat with him.
Pat also doesn’t really understand that the condition his dad has makes it difficult for him to talk. When Mick has in the past rang Pat, he has broken down and cried and the conversation was just ended because Pat couldn’t understand what his dad was saying, and that’s a no-no in Pats book. It also upset Pat that his father just blubbered instead of having something decent to say.
I can understand Mick’s blubbering, knowing him, but it is so hard to help Patrick to understand that he feels emotional because he did throw a life with his only son away, because of a stupid whim. I know he is so sorry for making it difficult for us to stay together as a family, he will have a lot of regrets and I am glad he knows it, before he does die. I don’t want him to be suffering the way he is, of course, but with some people it takes something very drastic, like this, for them to realize the mistakes they have made. So now he knows his mistake with Patrick, he is unable to do anything much about it because of his drastic health situation.
So, I will continue to save money the best I can on my very limited income, find some cheap as chips airfares and try to get Patrick up to Queensland to see his dad before he passes. I have been trying to do that for a couple of years now. Patrick will not go up there on his own, and he shouldn’t have to. I wouldn’t allow him to go on his own. Pat is not confident enough to do a trip that long. He has traveled on the train to Melbourne from Bendigo, and returned, but he had someone leave him and see him off at the station in Bendigo, then he was met in Melbourne, so he didn’t have to travel on suburban trains alone. The return trip was the same, accompanied at all times except on the Melbourne to Bendigo trip. He kept himself busy with his music and games. He only started catching the train to Melbourne to stay with his sister once he had started growing and was confident enough that he was big enough to defend himself if someone picked on him on the train.
All in all, he has grown up to be a strong, tall lad, with charm and wit and ability to defend himself, although he has not had this tried out…hopefully he doesn’t have to.
Where traveling to Queensland is concerned, it is a long long way, he is not confident flying and he does not travel well on buses. Traveling on a trip consisting of 3 states, several stations, changing trains, buses, etc would be too much for Pat to deal with, without stressing about getting the wrong train or bus, his anxiety would have him bashed and dead before the first leg of the trip was half over. The biggest insecurity he has about going to see his dad is that he refuses to go wherever his dad’s wife is. She is a nasty person, she has hurt Pat and upset him several times, so he refuses to see his dad if he has to see her as well.
So, all things considered, I will go with Pat to see his dad, probably Kim will come as well, we will have a little holiday while we are there, but Patrick will not see his dad at his home…it will be in a neutral place.
Well, I have had my little say about the subject and thats all for now.
Thanks for reading