A place for me to voice how I feel

Posts tagged ‘Autism’

Soccer

Today has been a great day weather wise. Today was also Patrick’s indoor soccer tournament. He plays in a team called ‘The Misfits’, a group of his big sister’s Kim’s friends, mainly lesbians. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to play at first, but since he has been playing, only 1 win and definitely losing today, 4 games, Patrick has learned a lot. He has learned commitment, team playing, responsibility and a lot about himself and his limitations and strengths. He has learned that when he is angry, he can save it up and channel it into playing soccer.

Today, I went to see him play his last game of the day. It was a good game, score of 11 to 4, The Misfits being 4.

The games were only 12 minutes per half, with a 6 minute break. It is a very fast moving game. Now that he is home, he is making a lot of noise taking the tape off his toes. He had them strapped up because he keeps hurting his toes. He may even have a break or fracture, but we may never know unless he doesn’t play for a week to allow the swelling to go down so as to get a clear x-ray of it. He won’t let me touch it or even look at it.

Well, that is all I have to say about the soccer, apart from the catching up with Amy’s dad and grand father. I have not seen the grandfather for 15 years and haven’t seen her dad for about 10 years. He had news of Patrick’s father, being quite ill with emphysema. I have wanted to take Pat to see his dad for a couple of years now, so now I feel an urgency for him. I am hoping Pat will keep contact with his dad so that he does get a chance to get to know him a little, before he dies and he has heavy feelings of regret.

The opportunities are all there for Pat to keep contact with his dad, but his dad is just as bad in keeping in contact, even worse, seeing as he is the adult. He has never accepted that Pat has autism and adhd…and he never tried to help Patrick in area’s he needed help. It is a sad situation, I feel for Mick, his dad, now that he is so sick, but all in all, I had to put Patrick’s safety and mental stability and life routine at the top of the caring for Patrick list.

Patrick did keep a little contact with his father up until a couple of years ago. Mick has never been good at keeping contact, so I would prompt Pat to text his dad and ask him to ring him, as the court orders stated. Pat still cannot understand why his dad wouldn’t just ring him when he felt like talking to him, and I guess its just one of those things that he will never learn. It was a long process of a couple of weeks prompting conversations leading onto the subject of his dad, guiding his thoughts in the direction of contacting his dad, and having a chat with him.

Pat also doesn’t really understand that the condition his dad has makes it difficult for him to talk. When Mick has in the past rang Pat, he has broken down and cried and the conversation was just ended because Pat couldn’t understand what his dad was saying, and that’s a no-no in Pats book. It also upset Pat that his father just blubbered instead of having something decent to say.

I can understand Mick’s blubbering, knowing him, but it is so hard to help Patrick to understand that he feels emotional because he did throw a life with his only son away, because of a stupid whim. I know he is so sorry for making it difficult for us to stay together as a family, he will have a lot of regrets and I am glad he knows it, before he does die. I don’t want him to be suffering the way he is, of course, but with some people it takes something very drastic, like this, for them to realize the mistakes they have made. So now he knows his mistake with Patrick, he is unable to do anything much about it because of his drastic health situation.

So, I will continue to save money the best I can on my very limited income, find some cheap as chips airfares and try to get Patrick up to Queensland to see his dad before he passes. I have been trying to do that for a couple of years now. Patrick will not go up there on his own, and he shouldn’t have to. I wouldn’t allow him to go on his own. Pat is not confident enough to do a trip that long. He has traveled on the train to Melbourne from Bendigo, and returned, but he had someone leave him and see him off at the station in Bendigo, then he was met in Melbourne, so he didn’t have to travel on suburban trains alone. The return trip was the same, accompanied at all times except on the Melbourne to Bendigo trip. He kept himself busy with his music and games. He only started catching the train to Melbourne to stay with his sister once he had started growing and was confident enough that he was big enough to defend himself if someone picked on him on the train.

All in all, he has grown up to be a strong, tall lad, with charm and wit and ability to defend himself, although he has not had this tried out…hopefully he doesn’t have to.

Where traveling to Queensland is concerned, it is a long long way, he is not confident flying and he does not travel well on buses. Traveling on a trip consisting of 3 states, several stations, changing trains, buses, etc would be too much for Pat to deal with, without stressing about getting the wrong train or bus, his anxiety would have him bashed and dead before the first leg of the trip was half over. The biggest insecurity he has about going to see his dad is that he refuses to go wherever his dad’s wife is. She is a nasty person, she has hurt Pat and upset him several times, so he refuses to see his dad if he has to see her as well.

So, all things considered, I will go with Pat to see his dad, probably Kim will come as well, we will have a little holiday while we are there, but Patrick will not see his dad at his home…it will be in a neutral place.

Well, I have had my little say about the subject and thats all for now.

Thanks for reading

Dianne

Walking the animals

Hi Fellow Bloggers

I was on the phone to mum, discussing our family plans for emergencies. We do this regularly to keep ourselves on the ready. In our town we have in the last 2 years experienced bush-fires burning out an entire suburb, one person died in those fires and many people are still displaced. We have also experienced a cyclone that came from the top of Australia and wound its way down the country, inland, ending with us here in Bendigo, Victoria, causing flooding and destruction and still many people are not able to move back into their properties a year later. We have just been through a very tense, hot summer without a fire outbreak, but have been experiencing some very wild destructive storms, as long ago as a week. So, our emergency plan is quite relevant and you all know, that with Autistic families, being prepared is the best solution for managing our children in such times.

So here I am discussing the animals when Kimberly walked in and said ‘ rabbit, chimpanzee, tiger’ and giggled. Mum heard someone in the background say something about a tiger and was saying that yes it was possible that zoo’s could be disrupted in earthquakes and such, so animals like lions and tigers could be roaming free, therefore making it extra dangerous and that we should make sure our own animals were on leashes or carry baskets to keep them safe and secure. While mum was rambling on, not realizing what Kim has said…..I looked at Kim questioningly and she said ‘ I heard animals so I just added to it’ and giggled. By this time, Patrick had wandered in and said ‘ what are you laughing about?’

I explained that I was talking to Nanny about making sure our pets were leashed and in their carry baskets when we evacuate in an emergency, and then Kimmi said ‘ rabbit, chimp, tiger’ and how Nanny said that the animals in a zoo could escape if the emergency situation was bad enough, like an earthquake.

During that explanation to Patrick what was funny, mum had to go, so we said our goodbyes. Kim had picked up the phrase ‘having our pets on leashes’ and so started, animatedly, acting out having our pets on their leashes. It was very funny. She stood still with her hand down by her side and said ‘ this is Lulu’, our Red Kelpie x who is quiet and loyal and would just lie down until told to move. Then she demonstrated Brandy on a leash, our 1yo Maltese x Shih Tzu. Her arm was stretch out and was going all over the place, it was funny, because he is such an active happy little chap. Patrick got into the act too and had Booboo, our young tabby cat on a leash….his hand was going around his body and he was twisting around and then it shot off away from him….he is a very good actor, lol. Kim started on Booboo as well. Her hand went erratically for a few seconds then up above her head and she started saying ‘ here kitty kitty, come on down from there, come on kitty kitty’. It was hilarious.

I said what about Rachel’s (my sister) budgies? Kim said ‘ yeah, with little tiny harnesses around their bodies so their wings can still operate’…and demonstrated walking along with her two hands in the air moving erratically in the air, Then just as quick she changed to a rabbit jumping on the ground, moving along, then all of a sudden, both Kim and Pat stopped still and had their hand directly in front of them, not moving. They both cracked up laughing at the same time. A turtle! They stayed like that for a few minutes, they talked about things and were still in the same spot but their arm had extended a little more in front of them….they were both so so funny.

Well, it was Thursday and Thursday evening is our regular get together chat about what to do in an emergency, so we decided then to continue the discussion. We also put in a new plan to deal with the animals while they were both tuned in to that and our emergency plan discussion went really well. Both Pat and Kim took responsibility for their part in the plan and I was so glad to see their attitude working with the plan rather than in a negative way. Patrick’s usual response it ‘ Its not going to happen to us’ and Kim attitude is ‘ It wont get that bad’.

All in all, a good day Thursday

Cheers

Dianne

Tuesday

Hi Fellow Bloggers,

Well, have I been busy the last few days. Kimmi has moved in, lock, stock and barrel. I wonder what that really means. Must Google it. Hehe.

Found it:


Lock, stock and barrel

Meaning

The whole thing.

Origin

Lock, stock and barrelI’ve seen it suggested that this phrase refers to all of a shopkeeper’s possessions – the stock in trade, the items stored in barrels and the lock to the door. This explanation is entirely fanciful though – the ‘whole thing’ in question when this phrase originated was a musket. Muskets were composed of three parts:

– The lock, or flintlock, which is the firing mechanism. Various forms of ‘lock’ muskets were used from the 1400s onwards, e.g. fire-locks, flintlocks, matchlocks etc. The term ‘lock’ was probably adopted because the mechanism resembles a door lock.

– The stock, which is the wooden butt-end of the gun. ‘Stock’ is the old term for wooden butt or stump and is a generic term for a solid base. It was used as early as 1495 in association with Tudor guns, in a bill for ‘gonne stokkes’. See also laughing-stock.

– The barrel, i.e. a cylindrical object, is an even older word and was well-established by the 15th century. This is the least obvious of these three terms to have been chosen to name a musket part. After all, in the 15th century people would have been very familiar with barrels as the squat coppered tubs used for storage – hardly similar to the parallel-sided cylindrical tubes that were used in muskets. It may have been that the term migrated from cannons or other sorts of gun which were more barrel-shaped.

Note: that ‘lock, stock and barrel’ refers to muskets, not rifles. What makes rifles different from earlier guns are the spiral grooves inside the barrel, which cause the bullet to rotate and fly more truly. ‘Rifle’ derives from the French verb ‘rifler’ – to scratch or scrape.

So, There we go. Kimmi, as a whole, has moved in!!

Isn’t the Internet wonderful? I think so.

Anyway, because of her moving in, with all her stuff, I have had to re-arrange the house. Our house is so teeny-weeny that when she moved out, I spread my sewing and craft into the spare room. I filled it to capacity. Now, I have to empty that room back into my room. My bedroom is only half a metre wider than the sewing room. Now, that is a job and half or two thousand, I am telling you.

I have spent the better part of the last two days, sorting every item in that sewing room, organized it into a shoebox, clear box, file or folder, large and small and made it fit into my bedroom in some of the furniture that was in the sewing room, including my Horn Sewing Cabinet.

I am only part way through.

I also have to find room in the house somewhere for jigsaw puzzles, board games and other books and magazines other than crafting that I wish to keep. I don’t know where that will be. The games I could fit into Patrick’s wall unit in his bedroom. Hopefully. I have so much to do. I have been trying to organize my house for Kimmi to move back home for a couple of weeks now, and it has been a slow painful process. Now I am beginning to see the outcomes of all my hard work. But I am also seeing full shelves, boxes and cupboards.

I am feeling accomplishment though, and that is very important for me.

The last two days has also seen Kim and Patrick playing over and over a DVD of Carl Barron, an Australian Comedian. He is funny but when I hear it all the time, and then Kim and Pat re-enact a lot of the DVD, speak to me in Carl Barron language, walk like him, talk like him, there is not a straight word in the house. They are so funny, mimicking him. It is a very Autistic thing in our household. Patrick has always Role-Played. He was 12 months old when he first starting eating off the floor like a puppy, lifting his leg when crawling on all fours, hanging his tongue out for attention and food, barking, using his teeth to play with towels, carpet, toys, anything that he could reach. He was so tiny. Then he started rounding up the chooks the day he started walking, or should I say running. Only a week after the puppy thing started. Then he started imitating his dad, and sisters, and anyone else that took his fancy. We used to go to a local pub regularly to see bands play live…he had to have his guitar and microphone and sing along. Not that we understood a word. For a while he was a rock’n’ roller, playing drums and guitar and singing and stomping his feet in an attempt to dance. This was all before he was two.

By the time he was four, he was rounding up sheep (we lived in outback Qld) and he was Murray from The Wiggles. He was also very much into guns and dinosaurs, although he was quite happy calling goanna’s and lizards his ‘Saurs.

When he started school, we had just got his diagnosis of Autism. He was always Jim Craig, the Man from Snowy River. From the movie. He had his imaginary horse, who went everywhere with us, tied on behind the ‘Cruiser when we went to town, he tied him up to the posts out the front of the shops. He had to wear his Akubra and his jeans and flannel shirt, no matter the weather. He always had a belt and a gun of some concoction he made or found and tried all the time to get spurs on his boots. We eventually bought him spurs and a whip. He could really use that too.

At fourteen he still has his days when he says ‘Mum, I’m Jim today.’ I have to talk to him in old Aussie lingo, and give him food for his horse as a treat, usually a carrot, he shares it with his horse. LOL.

Then there are the days he is Lightning Jack, a character portrayed by Aussie actor, Paul Hogan. He plays an outlaw. He also has days when he is Jack ‘Crocodile Dundee’, another Paul Hogan character.

Kimmi, she is just a fun nutty person to have around. Nothing is normal with her. In amongst all her friends, she has made Cheese, a cartoon character, popular. She quotes from all movies she has ever seen in most of her conversations. Finding Nemo can be quoted several times a day in several instances. Tarzan is another one, and El Dorado is another one. She loves Sandra Bullock movies and quite often reminds me of certain passages of dialogue in movies as well as looks, comments and actions she portrays in her characters.

Kimmi quite often  brings up Sandra Bullock moments with me, especially from the Ya Ya’s. We love that movie, and even today, when my daughter Meg rang, (for the 3rd time today) I said ‘if that’s meg I’m gonna scream’. It was, and I screamed and when she said….’what do you have ESP, you know its me before you pick up the phone’ . how she knew I was thinking of Ya Ya’s at that moment I don’t know, but yes, I did the banging the phone like Sandra did in the movie when her mother did the same thing, so Meg did it too, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh yes, life is just one big laugh in our household, thinly disguised as frustration…lol. We have a good belly laugh every day.

I quite enjoy the relationship I have with all my 3 kids. Meg thinks she couldn’t live with me again. I believe she is right, but we do always have a nice time when she comes to visit. I can’t really visit with her, as she lives with her dad, and he and I, although we tolerate each other, really could not stand to be in the same house together. So, visits have to be at my house or if we have some money, a mutually agreed holiday place. Not gonna happen, I’m telling you now. Kim knows she has to live with me, but if we can get her her own unit out in the backyard, that would be best for her and us. Patrick, whether he likes it or not, has to live at home.

Well, that’s how my continuing saga is at the moment. I still have a lot of sorting, chucking and organizing my sewing and craft before Kim can move into the bedroom. The living room is getting cluttered with Her in there, but what else can I do? Keep on doing what I’m doing, plugging away at sorting it all until it is all done, and we can all live with it.

So, until next I chat….have a good day

Dianne

Busy Time

Hi Fellow ASD parents/carers,

Surprise! surprise! Its me again so soon. Ooh don’t know what happened then, but my writing is big and I can see it. lol.

Well, my daughter, Kimmi, is still with me. We had a lovely offer from my sister and brother-in-law today to borrow their trailer to help move Kimmi’s things back to my house. She only had the bed that needed a trailer, so we went and got it today. The rest of her belongings we will collect over the week and they will fit in the car. Considering she moves around a lot, it’s just as well she doesn’t need a trailer load each time she moves.

So today for Kimmi was a bit hard to deal with. She had pains in her tummy, that I thought might be nerves. She doesn’t like confrontation at all. Confronting her cousin and telling her she felt it was best if she moved back home with mum was such a daunting task, she chickened out totally, so I let her cousin know. It went smoothly enough, so far. The rest of the week will tell.

We organized to borrow the trailer this afternoon. By the time we picked up the trailer, went to my nieces house, got the boys to load up the bed, it was thundering and lightning a fair bit, so we tried to get home before it rained. Good idea, but too late. The storm hit our house by the time we got home. The rain drops were so big and cold and the lightning was really scary forked, heading directly to earth, all around us. The thunder was thunderous. We had just enough time to cover the trailer completely with tarps until we could get it when the rain stopped. We decided that we needed help to get the bed into the house, so we called up a friend who brought a friend and between them and Patrick, the bed was placed in the middle room.

I have not cleared the room of my sewing gear and oddments of furniture, so we just dumped it in there. Patrick and I will get to it over the weekend. It is going to be a rainy weekend, so I am not expecting much organizing to be done, but at least if I can get my sewing table out of there and into my bedroom where the space is ready for it, I will be happy and will be able to continue sorting my sewing gear and putting it in an appropriate place in my room. MMM so much for my bedroom being my respite and quiet place. It is going to be a workroom as well. Ah well, the hazards of family life.

There are a couple of new bonuses having Kimmi move back home. 1. Patrick is grounded at the moment for the rest of February, and I have had to be grounded with him. Having Kimmi here means that I can go when and where I need to and Kim will be home with Pat. 2. Kimmi can drive to the supermarket now that she has her driver’s licence, or run other errands for me, so I can stay home when I feel the need, and she can take Patrick with her. Cool. 3. Kimmi can drive herself to her outings instead of me having to drive her there and usually pick her up later. 4. Kim backs up my disciplinary measures with Patrick when he is being tough. 5. Patrick is less likely to disagree with my suggestions for just about everything. 6. Kimmi can take Patrick to see the movies that I just don’t like, but they both will enjoy. 7. I don’t need to pay respite workers who can’t cope with Patrick anyway, because Kimmi is our respite carer. 8. Kimmi can help me make and package my crafty items for the markets, help me on market day and each of us can take a break often to wander around the market while we are there as well as keep Patrick amused between the two of us. (my only source of income other than pension payment). 9. I will have someone else to talk to most days of the week and so will Patrick. 10. Having Kimmi home is lots of fun and wacky times, lots of laughs, more outings together as a family. Life is never ever dull with Kimmi around.

Life is going to take a few twists and turns until we have all settled in with each other again, and we will be busy organizing a unit for her in the backyard. This house is so so tiny. We also have to get the yard organized as well as the house. I am planning to get a few chickens for eggs and recycling. We are very DIY in our family, so we have a chicken shed, we just need to make a run area to keep the chickens safe from the dogs, cats and other prowling predators, like hawks, foxes, snakes and strange people. We are planning a Garage Sale to get rid of a lot of oddments of furniture we no longer need as well as excess items throughout the whole house. The 3 little sheds we have in the backyard are in need of severe clean-out, as we have not really seen the inside of them since we moved to this house in March last year, nearly a year ago. wow. Our swimming pool, just a small one, needs to be emptied, cleaned out and moved to a more protected area of the yard, down the side of the house, where we can set up a shade area and place some lovely tropical plants to dress the area up to be able to enjoy the tranquility of lazing in our little pool on the next lot of sweltering hot days.

I also need to address the garden. Both Kim and Pat like to help in the garden. It is rather bare except for a few bulbs and we need to get the vegetable garden going again, also with some protection from elements and animals. We have also put on Layby, a gazebo that is wide enough to park the car under it, for a bit of sun and rain protection. We also have started and need to finish, putting up shade blinds on the outside of the windows to protect the house from the heat and the cold.

So, now that Kim is back home, I will have the physical help I need to get things done, and Patrick will have added incentive to help too. Finally, we will be able to feel comfortable to a certain degree in this little house.

So that’s what has been happening here lately. I have a teeny-weeny house with myself and two large kids who both need plenty of space and are rough on everything, including shoes, clothes and equipment and tools, a large dog, Lulu, a small dog, Brandy and a kitten called Booboo. Soon we shall have chickens as well and I know our nice yard is only going to encourage all of the neighborhood kids to want to come and visit often.

So welcome to the madhouse, enjoy our life of fun and quirkiness and follow along with our ups and downs, rights and wrongs, lefts and rights, fights and dramas, loves and laughters.

See you next time

Dianne

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